Why the Hate?

…when they were in the field, Cain rose up against Abel his brother and killed him. The Lord said to Cain, “Where is your brother? He said, “I do not know. Am I my brothers keeper?” and He said, “What have you done? The voice of your brother’s blood cries out to Me from the ground. Genesis 4:8-9

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The Greenwood Massacre 1821

The Tulsa Race Massacre stands out as one of the worst acts of racial violence in American history—and, for decades, it remained one of the least known. Over the course of 18 hours, from May 31 to June 1, 1921, a white mob attacked residents, homes and businesses in the predominantly Black Greenwood neighborhood of Tulsa, Oklahoma. News reports were largely squelched for decades, despite the fact that hundreds of people were killed and thousands were left homeless. https://www.history.com/news/tulsa-race-massacre-facts

It’s Not Just The Race Thing But The Hate Thing

May 31, 2021 marked the 100th Anniversary of the Tulsa Oklahoma Race Massacre. Many know of this event as the burning down of Black Wall Street. The beautiful souls who were living in this city, peacefully were thriving professionals and entrepreneurs. Barbers, landlords, doctors operating hospitals, teachers running schools, moms, and dads were living in this booming segregated area in Tulsa until jealously and hatred created a reason to kill the residents and burn the city to the ground. History is bringing this dark event into the light. Some ask why is society just now learning about this domestic terrorist event but I wonder how could race make people hate so passionately that they could kill innocent people and destroy their property? Race is not real.

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As we exit the first pandemic in our country since 1918, one can see our society from a new vantage point. It can be liken to the beach after a severe hurricane, covered in rocks, ugly, and uncomfortable. The rocks were there all the time but buried underneath the sand. When ‘all men are created equal’ was written, many of those who embraced this notion had an unwritten belief that some beings were not included because of their race. It is ugly and uncomfortable but just like the rocks on the beach, racism has been a part of our society since the beginning. It has been hidden under a lofty ideal called ‘freedom’. If freedom was a loaf of bread then some unfortunate ingredients have been baked into the dough such as enslavement, internment, theft, and murder. Racism steals, kills, and destroys people. These attributes are part of the world of darkness. And as my dear friend Veron used to say, ‘you don’t need a sledge hammer from Alcatraz’ to help you break this down to see how wrong it is.

American society has created a concept of race. Contemporary scholars agree that “race” was a recent invention and that it was essentially a folk idea, not a product of scientific research and discovery… a growing number of scholars in many disciplines have declared that the real meaning of race in American society has to do with social realities, quite distinct from physical variations in the human species. ORIGIN OF THE IDEA OF RACE by Audrey Smedley Anthropology Newsletter, November 1997.

The Wheat and the Tares

“God’s kingdom is like a farmer who planted good seed in his field. That night, while his hired men were asleep, his enemy sowed thistles all through the wheat and slipped away before dawn. When the first green shoots appeared and the grain began to form, the thistles showed up, too. “The farmhands came to the farmer and said, ‘Master, that was clean seed you planted, wasn’t it? Where did these thistles come from?’ “He answered, ‘Some enemy did this.’ The farmhands asked, ‘Should we weed out the thistles?’ “He said, ‘No, if you weed the thistles, you’ll pull up the wheat, too. Let them grow together until harvest time. Then I’ll instruct the harvesters to pull up the thistles and tie them in bundles for the fire, then gather the wheat and put it in the barn.’ Matthew 13:24-30 The Message

‘Race’ is a tare, a weed, a false definition that has become a part of the social fabric. Race gives human beings a reason to hate. Being a tare is powerful because its negative energy can choke out and smother the good. In Tulsa on that dark day, I am sure there were individuals who described themselves as “good Christian people‘ but they opened their hearts to evil and being filled with hate, burned down that neighborhood, killing innocent people. Those men may have believed that they had gotten away with the crime. I don’t know but no one was ever been charged or held accountable. It is speculation but I am sure that some were even proud of themselves. The truth seemed to have gotten lost in history but it wasn’t. The light is shining brightly on it today, despite being 100 years later. We see the faces, feel the hatred, the fear, and recognize the ignorance. Yes, like other stories that took time to emerge from the dark corners of history, it came out and this supports my belief that truth always rises.

We can be truthtellers

Light shines in darkness to usher in enlightenment. People seemingly wise beyond their years are in the same space as those without a clue. Who determines the wise and the ignorant? Love does. A powerful thought!!! No love, no wisdom, no enlightenment. Ignorance and evil can hide in the dark mindset but where ever and in whom ever we find love, we will also discover wisdom which illuminates our thoughts.

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I am not a scholar just a human being who believes that it is important to speak up on behalf of love and community. Hating someone because of their race is darkness, ignorance, and reveals the absence of light. Being who God created you to be and loving yourself & others is to be light and love. The greatest force in the universe, undefinable and more expansive than creation itself is love and love is on our side. Time is on our side too because eternity is pure love and light. I believe in a creator who is love and the divine spark of this love can be ignited even in those who hate. I accept because of my spiritual prism that I will always reach the conclusion that as we awaken, we join together and live in harmony. I believe a day will come when love will dissipate hate by simply loving it to death. R.I.P.

I felt sad, now I’m ok.

I started writing this blog six months ago. I thought, my sadness was due to the pandemic and current events. So I set it aside vowing to finish it later. Several months passed and I resumed writing. The chaotic election season was over and almost one third of the American population had been vaccinated. I hoped that the world would be moving towards unity and wholeness but unfortunately it seems truth is emerging in other ways; hatred and fear. I am sadden by this but I also realize that I am not the only person who is speaking truth to the power of love.

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Rewind

In October 2020, two events activated my contemplation. The first occurred while I was watching CSPAN. I was listening to a Senate committee hearing and the discounting of witness testimonies as they shared their research on systemic racism. I thought, we cannot move forward if our leaders cannot see and respond to injustice. There is life after racism but we have to walk through darkness to get to the light. The second occurred while I was helping with some homework. This elementary social studies book said that God created governments because the people were wicked. I continued to read about the Revolutionary War and the War of 1812. I learned about Andrew Jackson. I thought, if God created government because the people were wicked then He understood that a wicked people, I guess, could only be governed by a wicked government. I am seeing a pattern in the history of humanity; we as a society seem to be in a chronic state of discontent. It is not real but sustained pain. We can live in harmony but the forces of hatred and ignorance are strong. Even in a pandemic. Wow!

“I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that you present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable to God, which is your reasonable service. And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God.” Romans‬ ‭12:1-2‬ ‭NKJV‬‬
https://www.bible.com/114/rom.12.1-2.nkjv

Fast-forward

In May 2021, I had a meltdown and an epiphany, at the same time. Emotionally spent, I was surrounded by sadness, suffering and loss. I was denying my fears and insecurities. I felt myself sinking deeper into despair wanting to just disconnect from it all. Watching the news, seeing continued violence, listening to people reject the truth to believe lies, and wars still, despite the world’s devastation. All seemed dreary until I got the courage to ask myself, why are you so sad? Something awakened when I spoke my truth to myself. There is a lot going on in the world and so much that I want to achieve myself. But the real question was, “what is going on within me?. As I sat in silence, listening to the question permeate my thoughts, the answer rang out, ‘you dear one are unhappy with yourself’. (Boom!) I was trying to fix the world and forgot to heal myself . I have been living small with my light dim when I should be free and open. I am changing. I am still growing. I sense I am leaving some things behind. My sadness was trying to tell me that I needed to reboot to refocus myself on the future. I needed to get a clearer perspective on life.

I am about to make a major change in my career. I am stepping fully into my place in this world as a Christian Life Coach. I will be helping people discover their purpose and understanding presence. I am changing, for the better. I am emerging from this pandemic with a passion to live life to the fullest and live it authentically. As I rehearsed my truth; I felt my spirit take a long refreshing deep breath. I am alive for a purpose. I yield to being transformed.

Transformation is a big word that in my mind simply means that something is becoming something else without any outside influence… naturally. After months of struggling with myself and those around me, I had an epiphany, my sadness was a sign that I am growing. Why didn’t I see it? I am emerging into a new day with a new passion and a clearer vision. I am a new creation. I am being renewed so that I can step into this moment and give myself fully to it.

Sad? Talk with a friend.

I blog to hear myself commit to my higher self to go on the record, so to speak. I trust myself. I am my own best friend. I know talk is cheap but thoughts not expressed can become imaginary friends as well. I want to live my life as I envision it. One of love, peace, and community. It starts with me being myself. I am so happy that I had the courage to share my truth and share it with you.

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There are many reasons to feel sadness. It is an appropriate reaction to the condition of the planet; human beings included. But I hope you understand that we are the solution. I am filled with expectation of who I am becoming. I am grateful to have emerged from a sadness with a desire to move forward and grow. I admit, I am a work in progress but today, everything is ok. And wherever you are on your journey, remember, all is well.

Trauma? Not Me.

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Recently, I watched a presentation on mental health. The moderators talked about veterans and trauma. They shared what trauma is and how we experience it. The panel also talked about how veterans’ families endure along with the family members who are experiencing trauma. They explained that the mind can be injured and when this happens, the whole body suffers. We can experience an array of ailments as a result of trauma. As the panelists continued to outline what can cause trauma, I started to think about my life and the impact of living through this pandemic. If you are like me, we believe that we are strong. Maybe because we are and have been able to ‘take it’ despite obstacles. But now, people like us need to take a step back and recognize that we are not rocks, we are people and we can only ‘take’ so much.

Trauma is defined as is any type of distressing event or experience that can have an impact on a person’s ability to cope and function. Trauma can result in emotional, physical, and psychological harm. ^{Verywellmind.com}

As I listened to the stories and experiences of the speakers in this webinar, I started to search myself. Have I failed to acknowledge and bring closure to experiences within my life which caused distress. My mind went back to when I was forced to leave my neighborhood elementary school because of mandatory integration. I remember with such clarity how alone and abandoned, I felt. No one asked us kids what we wanted. We wouldn’t have understood the reasoning anyway. I remember the television cameras waiting as we arrived at the school and thinking, this is what the animals must feel like in the zoo. I experienced trauma. Part of the healing came when I rejoined my friends in high school but I have never fully digested this experience. I wonder how unnoticed, the pain has manifested throughout my life.

Have you taken an opportunity to discuss our feelings with anyone?

Last year around this time, a virus began to sweep through the world and was on its way to the Unites States. I remember how I believed we were safe, I was safe. I listened to the news reports and there seemed to be little reason for concern. Maybe the mixed messages gave me an opportunity to stay in denial longer. I paid little attention really until the day I was directed to send my employees home. The country was shutting down and I quickly learned what the definition was of a nonessential worker. I naively told my employees to take enough work home for about 2 weeks. They have been working remotely for over a year. We have experienced trauma.

As a nation, we are approaching 600,000 people who have passed away from the COVID19 virus. I know numerous families who have lost love one’s. Some have lost multiple family members. I do not fully understand the toll this pandemic has taken on our children or our society but I can see its impact on me. My blood pressure is high. My concentration is challenged and I am feeling that I need to pay more attention to living a full life. Why was society denied the truth about this virus? Why were we told, if we shut the country down for a few weeks that we would ‘get back to normal.’ This was not true. This has been a catastrophe. We will never get back to normal. We are not the same. There is a ‘new normal’ emerging that includes plexiglass, face masks, and social distancing.

They explained that the mind can be injured and when this happens, the whole body suffers.

We need to talk about this. If we fail to embrace the need to share our feelings of loss and grief then this pandemic will be in control of our future causing even more trauma. So, let me be the first to admit that I did not see this coming. I am angry that our political leaders put politics above public safety. Because of the lack of honesty, the remedy came in the vaccine after hundreds of thousands of people died. Can we ever trust the political system again? I can’t answer this but we must trust the science. This I know for sure. .

We need one another which is the irony. Despite believing in our individual uniqueness, I also embrace what makes us special is based on the community. At this intersection we can become callus because hurting people hurt people. But we also have a choice to be filled with love and compassion. We still have more to endure but I will offer a solution; relationship. We share this journey. Let’s heal together. I feel better knowing compassion is an option on the table. How about you?